Chapter 5

Arr!

Again not much happenin' lately. I be gettin' them bits togetha tho.

I be hearin' dat one of them bulls that like ta hang out with demons an' whatnot put up a bounty on this one 'nome i killed few days earlier. He be payin one'n a half gold for the stinky head!
Fortunately i had the head hidden fer some reason, so i go to this bull thar an he be tellin' me "Oi, mate! 'tis head old, gimme a fresh one!" So i be tryin' ta convince him 's a fresh one, but he doesnt believe me. So much fer easy gold.

Meanwhile the pesky 'nome must've heard thar be bounty on its head! Now he be stalkin' me everywhere i go, poppin' outta them shadows, sticking its ugly tongue out an' not engagin' in battle! Damn him, if he only fought i coulda had this gold, arr!
I be runnin' roun desolace, or maybe swimmin more like. An' im headin' ta loot this dead captn's swag from that litta island thar.. an' guess what! The pesky 'nome is tinkerin' with me chest! Dat litta bastard, i charge 'im an' smack in the head, but the litta coward uses some nasty trick an' dissapears from me sight, drat! We be playin' cat'n'mouse on dat litta island fer next few minutes but then i get bored, get me swag an' head out. Not worth me time to be sure!

Now i be headin' towards arathi ta help lads thar with them trolls an' ogres. Not like i care about what be happenin' to dat litta fort thar, but they be payin' good coin, so im in!

While killin' em trolls i notice a litta gnome bearin' the skullbrand insignia! Gonna ice him i thought, so i charge the litta bastard.. an guess what? The little midget ices me, literally! Damn tricky mages, after quite some fight i put him down fer good, an' another one that was runnin' roun. After killing me trolls i notice the 'nome came back, an' sits thar drinkin. So i shoo him away 'cuz i already looted all his swag. He stands up an' goes somewhere.. an' guess what? Not a minute later i feel a chilly icebolt on me back! Never trust a 'nome i say, ever! After some fight we find ourselves both almost dead, with me hooves iced to the ground. I take out me trusty blunderbruss an' aim at 'nome. One hit, two hits, an guess what? The nome creates some sorta shield, gets out his wang wand an' kills me. After i get back he's nowhere ta be seen.
I find the othar 'nome tho! An guess wha? It attacks me an' me friend when we fightin' trolls, arr! Sheeps me younger friend an' tries ta ice me again! This time i pummel the sorry 'nome into the groun' for good!

Then i meet this dwarven lad wit' a rifle an' some pet. I neva knew them lads can run so fast. He was just runnin' roun me an' shootin! I had 'im on the edge of me axe few times but he always had a trick in his sleeve i tell ye! Almost dead but he escaped, arr! Good fightin' but i gots beaten, not good fer me image to be sure..

At some point i go back ta bay of them booties ta cut a litta chat with me friend capt'n seahorn. As i arrive i be hearin' lotsa noise in the salty sailor downstairs. I go down ta investigate an behold! Thar be a party! 'nomes, dwarves, elves, taurens, trolls an' whatnot else holdin' hands an dancin on the bottom floor! Now that be a suprise ta me! Thar was this funny bunch callin 'emselves Da Ladz. Runnin' aroun', shoutin' out their name an' gettin' wasted to death, jolly party, arr!
I finally met the Deagan corpse.. uh.. lad.. guy i guess. I was almost sure he was an undead 'nome, cuz he acts like that all the time with his contraptions an' whatnot. An guess wha? He be lookin' like a human.. kinda, cuz ye see - he be dead, an' rotten a bit. 'least he's not as sad an' negative as most of them corpselads, har har! He was sittin' at the table with this troll gal Xuncha.. Xincha, Xancha maybe? Nevamind, they were talkin' bout their inventions an' whatnot. One is sure, they be havin' too much time on their hands makin' all those toys thar.

Soon i depart from the inn, as i take off on me manticore i hear them lads shoutin' somethin' about killin' a giant nearby. Later i heard them Ladz an' their alliance friends went ta the beach an' killed the ol' smelly fart!

Hurm.. wha more? I signed up fer those contests in warsong gulch. Thar be a litta brawl with alliance an' lotsa runnin' with flags. Won both matches i were in, arr! But thar be somethin' weird, must be elven or 'nome magic! Everytime i be in the gulch everythin' moves so fast an' i move so slow, sometimes it seems like im asleep fer good few minutes, usually findin' meself at the graveyard.. pfah.

Either way, them officers in Orgrigorgi promoted me ta grunt, an' said i be very close ta being a sergant soon! Good ta hear that, i wont be stoppin' till they call me a not-short Warlord, arr!