Chapter 4

Chaptar 4

I made a tabard fer me crew. Now every landlubber that be seein' us will know we be the mighty Stormscales, arr!

One lad asked me this one time, why we be callin 'selves the Stormscales.

Stormscale be the naga tribe livin' on the shoreline of darkshore. They be fierce fighters that ride them storm waves 'an attack the settlements on the shore. They fear no weather, they fear no water, they fear no foe. An' thats what we, the Stormscale Corsairs are too! We plunder what we see fit, an' collect all the swag we can get, no one will be standin' between us an' our gold, arr!
On a side note, i met this one weird druid lad in Ogrimmar. He be tellin' everyone aroun' he be immortal an' whatnot, allmighty. Bah, stuck up if ye ask me. Looked like a calf anyway. So was hearin' his babblin' fer a while, an' then i see he pickin' on an orc even younger than he is himself. Damn druids an' their earthroot pipe. They be smokin' ta much of tis shite. So i be tellin' im "If ye be such a brave calf try dancin' wit me instead of harrasin' them youngs". After some smack chat we be goin' outside ogrimmar where i humiliate him in three swings of me sword, an' the local publicity points fingers at 'im and laughs. Was one stuck up bull if ye ask me.
In the evenin' we wentta stranglethorn cuz i was needin' some tusks fer me axe. We met quite a sturdy bunch of human landlubbers thar. Was a good hour of fightin', lotsa sittin' on them corpses an' whatnot. Was fun nevatheless.

Then me dame an' me wentta chillwind camp ta get me axe. I gave the swag ta this troll thar, an' he be goin' ta summon the cyclonian. I turn me back an.. THAR BE A DRAGON. Big scaly red thing with big tail' an teeth flyin' just over the river. I should be more carefull aroun' here. We proceed ta summonin' place an' i notice a dwarf hunter' playin' with'em turtles. I let him be, all the swag he can have be animal entrails or somethin'. Meanwhile we start fightin' the dreaded elemental. As we are about halfway, i see the damn lonbearded bastard starts shootin' me beauty. I charge him with me body an' slice his litta head ta pieces. Shortly after we down the damned windspirit, arr! The troll gives me this one godly axe an' fer once i be a happy bull, arr!

I'm runnin' here and thar, an see anothar dwarf, tis one be a warrior like meself, an' looks as seasoned as i be. Great. I let him finish the syndicate lubber, point at him, tell'im im ready, an' flex a bit ta start a duel. He chooses ta ignore me tho. His loss i be guessin', an' no one be ignorin' the capt'n. I charge him as he starts shootin' anothar syndicate. I put the dwarf an' syndicate down in few heartbeats. Shortly after as i be finishin' anothar syndicate the dwarf returns an' returns the favor. But i down him this one time too. Bored i look aroun' fer some ore ta mine. A bit latar i see the dwarf badly bruised runnin' through them woods. So i run after 'im. He must've been thinkin' i wantta kill 'im again, har har. He hides behind a hill an' i finally catch him. I let him eat, an' propose a fight again. He doesn't ignore me fer once an' attacks. Nice lad, but i put 'im down where his place is again. Three ta null fer the capt'n, arr!

Was a good day, an' me axe be the bane of them living, arr!

Chapter 3

Chaptur 3

After them dealins' in the hills I went back ta freewinds post in that needly place. Everthin' was goin' fine, one tauren lad even told me ta walk the plank in them mountains..

Well, until i went ta kill'em centaurs. I'm whackin'em and then i see a NOME running through, poor sod looks very much dead with the spears in its back so i decide ta ease its pain an' shoot it with me bow. I shoot two arrows, then aim an' whack it in the middle of 'e head makin' sure it wont go anywhere now. I loot some dimes from 'im an proceed forward.
Then just as im in the middle of minin' the tin deposit i feel somethin' scratchin' me back pleasantly. At this point i was rathar sure me beauty Mekhat was in stranglethorn vale, so maybe it was anothar cutie cow that wanted ta give me some relief. I turn back only to find the same damn 'nome jumpin' up an' down obviously tryin' ta hurt me with its little knives. So i give it a good kick, whack it in the head with me shield 'an give it a few stabs with me sword. Damn landlubber looks a bit more seasoned than myself, but i find its dead way sooner than i expected. I laugh a bit at its ambitions give it a nice wave an' go me way.

I meet this one tauren lad that tells me ta collect some damn plants fer him. Easy 'nuff fer me, an' he be payin' good. So i go to them hot springs only ta find a bunch of angry boilin' elementals thar. 'an i was expectin' some grimtotem ladies thar an' a massage. Lon' story short. I spend there more than an hour whackin' the damned elemenals an' collectin' the rare plants. Them herbs be havin' spiky an' sharp edges, gonna shove'em this bulls behind when i meet him to be sure.

All be fine 'an dandy, but then i needta find this one quillboar that be holdin' a vial fer me. I gather a few lads an' we dive inta Razorfen Kraul. After a few fights i be noticin' that some of me companions lack combat expertise so start givin' em orders left an' right, everythin' gets way smoother from now on.
This one lad at them crossroads told me "turn left at the first junction", aye, so we find ourselves 300 yards far right when we be noticin' its the damn wrong way! We go back, slay me boar, get me vial an' head back ta find the boss of this place. Somewhere aroun' the middle of the cave while fightin' two boars i notice that our mage be hearthstonin' out, without a word, damn wussie! From now on we be crawlin' with four.
Soon we slay some commander boar, an' he drops this totally awesome helmet! I get me dices an' roll, while the other warrior dat was with us weeps "ima loose this one, i know it", an' guess what? She really looses the roll. The new hat fits on me head perfectly.
Now them problems start. I be tellin me companion, stay behind me back at all times, we dont want ta alter them thornlubbers that we be here. So far so good. Then i notice a patrol goin' here 'an thar. I tell me lads "Ey lads! We be stayin' here watin' fer the patrol, dun move". An' guess what? Someone hadta go an' check whats in the tunnel, two hunters start shootin' him, we engage'em, so far so good. An' guess what? The patrol comes! They be headin' straight for our priest, i be tauntin' them an' everythin' goes more or less fine, but i didnt notice the one short quillboard whackin' our priest, an' the other warrior happily whacks somethin' else in the same time, lon' story short, priest dies an' so do we shortly after. Marvlou.. Marve.. Great.
So i be tellin'em ey gal, ye coulda take that boar off the priest, an' all of ye could just stand behin' me as i ordered. The priest nods head in acceptance while the damn warrior gets all high 'n mightay an' tells me i be commandin' ta much an' leaves the party.

Need ta remember ta feed 'em sharks with her next time i have the opportunity.

Chapter 2

-Hapt- Chaptar 2



T'day an' few last days were a bit slow here. Bored wit' lack'a companions ta drink at da tavern i decided ta hault my hairy behind ta this place called Hillsbrother or what was it name, thar be the town called Tauren Mill.

I gots me kinda suprised when i got thar. How come its named Tauren Mill if thar be no totems, teepees an' other fancay stuff like'em windmills? In fact that be lookin' like one of'em human towns but infested with them corpse men. But why that be called Tauren Mill? Them humans milled me brethren here or wha? If 'ey did, i be sure havin' another reason ta whack their hads othar than collectin' swag, arr! Or maybe dat litta goblin at the tavern spellt the name wrong? Who cares..

Aye, so i gots me to that town an' met dis litta troll fella. Zanji was his name i think. Nuttin' out of the ordinary for a troll if ye ask me. He had dis litta lion pet, he named him Saphir? Sepiroth? Suph.. uh.. Sephir maybe. So we be chattin' about what's happenin' roun the mill, an' i pat the cat a bit. Didn't look ta much aggresive, an' i coulda cut its head off with me sword if wanted to. Anyways, the troll tells me dat the cat.. check out dat.. TOLD 'IM dat he doesn't like ta be patted, an' its bad for its concentration, cuz he be observin' the surroundings lookin' fer bones an the like. Nuttin' unusual for a a troll eh.. i wouldnae be suprised if he ate 'nome nails as a snack.

So we be chattin' about dis an dat fer a while, an' then it comes ta topic of them jungle trolls, stranglethorn an' whatnot. Accordin' ta Zanji there be "Them" trolls an' "We" trolls. Now dat kinda confused me thar. If not the tusks i couldnae tell a troll from an elf, an' he be tellin' me that all kinds of the trolls are different. I still dont get what's that mojo and voodoo stuff they keep babblin' about, but it seems like voodoo stuff is somethin' scary, at least for Zanji's trolls thar. Them jungle ones like ta play with it. Now sharks eat me legs if trolls aren't the most wicked race in the whole world thar. They don't make any sense ta me whatsoever, an' every tribe is totally different. Not mentionin' them fetishes they be havin'. Collectin' bones, entrails, jaws, nails, teeth.. like collectin' swag wouldnae be 'nuff.

Then i went ta them farms near, cuz this one lad at the town told me thar be some farmers dat killed some of our companions an' he be payin' me good coin fer vengenance. Fair enough wit me thar.

Met two of 'em corpselubbers thar, looked like they be fresh outta coffin ta me, strugglin' wit every farmer. We kinda band up togetha and look for this Getz lad. Then i think i saw a 'nome runnin' somewhere in the bushes nearby, but dat could be a wild swine or sumthin' so i ignore. We engage one of 'em footmen, an' as im about ta strike him to the ground i see her.. Sleek hooves, nice tail, even more lovely legs, jugs'o'love, kinda weird.. human like face - but i coulda live with dat, an' some nice horns. So i stand thar gazin' at this beauty sent from heavens fer me an' drool over her body while she leans a bit an' play with her whip, aye i could like kinkay stuff once in a while. I snap out of it after a while only ta see one of my companions obliterated ta.. uh death? 'least he looked more dead than usual to be sure, and thar be this litta 'nome jumpin' around castin' foul magics. So i ran to tha litta bastard an' stab him with me sword. Litta rascal must've been way more seasoned than me cuz i had problems hittin' its litta head. I bruise him good, but along the way the sweet miss figures out she'll be whippin' me back, an' thar be some farmer an' his pitchfork. Of course me companion priest forgot that he can heal an' dispel 'em nasty curses.. long story short, i get beaten thar with 'nome almost as dead as i was.

Few minutes later i find meself at the same spot, tryin' ta get the job done. An' thar be the 'nome again. Ima whack ya this time i think, litta bastard hid in the orchard an' apparaently didn't have his kinky miss with'im. So i get closer to the fence, an' as he finishes ta cast some spell on me, EVERY GODDAMN FARMER IN THE FIELD STARTS CHASIN ME! Bloody bastards pursued me tail almost ta the Mill. Im gonna get that 'nome one day i tell ye, pointy hat, tight clothes, grim face. Thar can't be more of 'em like that.

Eventually the 'nome dissapears an' i go down ta azurelode mine ta get me azurite. I find this undead lad callin' himself Lighthelm or somethin thar. We fought togethar in the past aroun' silverpine, so he helps me get through the mine ta get me azurite. I'm done thar an' head ta thousands needles place.

Just as i arrive at the post thar i feel me heartstone buzzin'. It's me beauty screamin' fer help. Apparently them human landlubbers be raidin' our mills. So i tell me crew "Avast lads, we be meetin' in them mills as soon as possible!". I hear a few Aye,Aye's thar an' stone me buns ta mill. Soon we have our five man group assembled an' roam the countryside thar lookin' fer 'em backstabbers. We engage in one skirmish with some 'nomes an' thats that. Thar be this very seasoned druid thar, but she be hidin' in the lettuce when we chase 'er. More of annoyance than a threat i tell ye.

After anothar round of runnin' aroun'em plains we get bored due to lack'a opponents ta loot, an' we find them southshore guards hit hard.. in a hard way. I be hearin' that 'tis one corpselad at sepulcher is givin' out some good swag for killin this Arugal guy, whoever he is. Fair with me an' me crew, an' we find out he be havin' his own keep! Arr, that be something worthwile, we run ta silverpine ta plunder his house!

We arrive at the site only ta find some of 'em corpse men waitin' on the doorstep thar. We joke aroun' a bit an' have a good laugh or two. They depart, an' some rogue pops up. "ye all be too joyfull" an' blah blah kinda crap ye know. An' he starts whinin' an tellin' us the world is a bad an' sad place an' whatnot. I tell ye, some forsakens shoulda stayed dead. I tell him ta beat it before i make him walk the chain in blackrock mountain, an' we start raidin' that keep place.

Long story short, we trampled through the whole place, pillaging whatever we found an' haulin lotsa swag. At the end we kill this Arugal guy an' our mage loots his second robe. I got me a nice shield from this commander lad thar an' we depart ta our beds for a rest.

That be all fer now i think, i bet more fun stuff will be followin' as we be just warmin' up here. Yohoho!

Chapter 1

So I was thinkin' thar, who will be remembrin' bout me an me crew in few years, if die to some sturdy lubber, or all goblins at Salty Dawg will get drunk to death. No one! That's why i be figurin' out that i be needin' a log where i be writin' all our deeds. One day some adventurer might find it with me swag an' tell the story of mightiest crew on all seas to everyone, arr!

Ye, so thar goes..

Chaptar 1

T'day i was hangin' aroun the Salty Sailor as usual, and thar was this litta goblin, forgot what his name was. We been chattin' about them ships an' seafarin', and than he tells me dat if i be wantin' me own boat i shoulda pay visit to some Van Cleef lad who be hidin' from the militia in Westfall!
Arr! 'Tis couldn't be any easier. We'll just go thar with me crew and pillage the place, an' steal the boat of this pale skinned cavelubber, yohoho!

So i be takin' me magical heart.. hearth.. the stone, an' shoutin' to me crew :

Avast lads! We be plunderin' some landlubber cove t'day, arr! Assemble at sunset at grom'gol camp!

I be arrivin' at grom gol at sunset, an' guess what? Thar be no one thar! I be hearin' only me beauty Mekhat crackin' some croc skulls in the distance. Privateer Leljin is already at that Westfall place, an' Undabuh is sea serpents know where.

I tell me First Dame Mekhat "Avast me beauty! We be goin' ta plunder, leave'm crocs, c'mon!". An' we be swimmin' towards Westfall. Along the way we found some longea.. uh.. trolls on the island thar, but they be sayin' we not strong enough ta help'em. Phew! Stormscales not strong enough, if that junglelubber only knew the power of.. uh.. we be gettin' back ta him later.
So we be swimmin' , an' thar be this sweet little island an' beautifull sunset, so we stopped there with me dame fer a while thar ta have some fun, if ye catch me drift that is, yar har har.

Finally we arrive at 'tis moonbrock.. moonbock.. moon-something place. Thar be some lubbers thar, couldnae tell the difference from defias bandit if i were smacked with either in the head ta be honest. We ignore'em an' proceed deeper into tha mine.

Long story short, we plundered the place, looted all their swag thar, killed the first mate (was one tough bull thar, but nuttin' that could stop the capt'n that is!), an' whacked the ships captain, arr!
Than we challenge the Cleef guy. Bastard had some sneaky guards there, but again, stormscales laid waste to all of em.

Ye.

An' now comes the hard part lads. We were about ta depart with me new ship, so i took a litta walk aroun'. And then it struck me..

The bloody landlubber moron built a ship in an underground lake!

Ye gods! Thar was no way ta take the ship, other than dismantlin' it an' caryring back to that beach. Oh woe.

A bit saddened by this event, we wenta check how be folks livin' in the senlit.. uh.. guards hill place.
Along the way, just a bit outside the moon town i be seein a 'NOME runnin. Some youngster i be thinkin', so i ignore 'im.
Now i tell ye, all those lads hangin' aroun stormwind be morons to be sure! Stupid 'nome tries ta freeze me hooves an' jumps up.
Unfortunately fer him i just had me claymore unsheathed and the stupid thing jumped right onto it, impaling its litta body before i coulda even blink.

Now a suprise! 't was no ordinary 'nome, we found insignia of some othar corsair crew on it! If i saw that earlier i woulda chop its head off before it got close ta me, arr!

So we go ta guardians hill place, look aroun' causin' no harm, when some (did i tell ye they all be morons?) youngstars draw out their weapons an' try ta mob us. I kill two with one swing of me sword, an' leljin stabs through out some poor sod thar. Me beauty took out some totems of hers an' burned another few alive.

Disgusted by their sheer stupidity we be leavin' the place, poor bastids didnt even have any swag ta loot, bleh. Now we be headin' ta Swamp of sadness or sumthin', need ta talk with the wind ridar thar.

Now we be runnin' through 'tis duskwood place. Quite creepy if ye ask me. Wolves, undead, bandits, the scum of all kind thar. Yet we meet no resistance. Me first dame changed into that wolf of hers and went ta scout, way ahead of us.
So thar be meself, Leljin an' Undabuh runnin.
Suddenly almost at that rottin' village of them hummies i see an elf, arr! It sure has some swag fer us! So i charge it.. or was it her an' we put 'er where 'er place was, to tha groun'. Some coppers an' no swag, lotsa herbs, roots, leaves.. them elves dont be carryin' any golds ye see. Not even worth the effort.

We be kinda regroupin' on the pumpkin field nearby, eatin' an whatnot, when same warrior and some well seasoned 'nome mage attack us. Long story short, we put'em down again, Leljin died a bit, but then after undabuh brought him to life he looted a diaper from the 'nome an' was all happy, trolls are weirdos if ye ask me.

Now we be headin' our way, an' those two are annoyin' us again. Yet again we slam'em to tha groun', fart in their general direction and we be headin' to tha swamp..

An' guess what! The bloody pesky pesty moron mage comes back again! With some human mage friend which is even more seasoned than we all are! So wit' this suprise kinda attack they change me an' undabuh into sheeps an' stand thar laughing at us. What they didn't know is that thar be Leljin stalkin' in them shadows. Soon enough he stabs the mage, an' im gettin' back into me bull form again. I take me crest an' shield an start ta whack the seasoned human, i almost get him, but he freezes me hooves an' runs away!
But! THAR BE NO ESCAPE FROM CAPT'N!
Ye. So i take out me musket, aim, fire, bang headshot! The mage drops dead to tha groun'! Meanwhile the 'nome be tacklin' me boys thar and tries ta sheep me again! I slam the poor sod in its litta head with me shield, Leljin slits its throat an' undabuh calls all powers of earthmothar ta punish the litta freak of nature.

The stormscales are victorious again! An' the seasoned mage had some nice swag on him, arr!

Eventually we manage ta reach the village on them swamps. An' there it starts..

Leljin starts braggin' about the swag he foun' in them mines. An' the swag he ever saw, an he yaps an yaps, on an' on. Annoyed as the whole crew were i demoted him back ta Sharkbait, that kinda shut his piehole fer a while.

We sell the useless swag in the shop thar, an' count our coins.

'Twas a good day fer Stormscale Corsairs to be sure. Soon enough we find ourselves in 'r hamooks an' get well deserved rest.